Today is DAUGHTER’S 17th birthday and I can’t speak to her and wish her a happy birthday or tell her how much I love her. I want to make sure you recognize that this is SOLELY your choice and she speaks to others about how much she is hurt because she can’t speak to her father on her birthday. I’ve included just my family in this email because any one of them can tell you their experience with the girls and the pain and anger the girls have expressed to them, as well as testify to the fact that I seek only one thing; unfettered time with my children. They could tell you that everything I do in my life is for the 3 children I have and love more than life itself.
DAUGHTER1 is not 7 anymore and she knows what’s going on. This isn’t about a judge knowing the law best, as you say, this is about ONE THING ONLY, you choose to keep 2 teenage girls away from their father. You have made no effort to discuss what’s best for them, there is no claim or fear of damage to the girls that could come from the girls having a relationship with me, you can’t even speak to the girls about the decision that you made. You cannot hide behind a law that says not to talk about a subject with the girls as a meritorious argument to keep me from the girls. The law protects child molesters and felons with more rights than I have currently and you have simply used the system selfishly at the price of our children’s happiness, you have singlehandedly robbed them from the right to love and be loved by their father and family. If you are somehow truly under the impression that the girls are ok with what you have required the court to do, I can put several of my friends and family in touch with you to talk to you about what the girls have said and how they have expressed their feelings over the last 6 weeks. I have had children talk to me about the sadness they have because their fathers don’t even try to be in their lives. Do you have any idea how important it was for them that I flew out there to see their play and spend time with them? Any idea at all? How can you deny them that?
For the girls benefit I will emphasize this to you one more time. I am SORRY. I recognize that I shouldn’t have given into my emotions at certain times and should not have said certain things. I give you my word that outside of those times I have always told the girls that even when they are upset about how they are treated at your house, to remember that whatever you are doing you are doing because you love them and believe it’s the best thing. Even when I have been left completely bewildered by your actions I have never encouraged them to hate you and I have NEVER stood between them and time with you.
The bottom line is this. I am a good father, a damn good father and the girls NEED me in their life too. There is no law needed or truly at issue here and it is 100% your decision to keep them from me. In the long run I will talk to the girls again and the only thing that is happening now is that they are building anger and resentment for being forced away from me and having to hold inside the anger they have. The girls and I both know that you have no real fear or substantiated reason to take this action. I urge you to consider the fact that you have been doing this to punish me and don’t have a valid concern that I could hurt the girls. As much as I have made mistakes in my life and look back wishing I could have done things differently, you will one day be able to see that you have fallen right into the trap of The American Divorce and spent all of your time and money doing nothing but attacking me at the price of our children’s happiness. It truly saddens me more than anything in the world that you can’t see that before they turn 18 and make their own decisions.
Take a few minutes today and think to yourself how you would feel if I went into court and forced them to take the girls away from you. Imagine waking up in the morning every day wanting to just say hi to them and not being allowed to. Imagine loving them with all of your heart and being kept completely out of their lives. Imagine being 17 and having a wonderful relationship with your father and finding out that mom has made it so that you can’t even talk to him on your birthday. Can you imagine with all the pain she is going through as a teenager and now not being able to talk to me? Can you imagine being in her place and wanting to talk to me at lunch when she is alone and sad only to have her mom come in and strip that from her without so much as explaining why? Can you imagine coupling that pain with her feelings about things with your husband? Can you imagine what she’ll say when she’s adult and has a conversation with a friend about what happened with her parents when she was a teenager? Can you actually imagine anything good coming from you stripping their father from them and never even explaining why you thought it was a good idea? Can you imagine anything?
