Divorce happens. That’s not to say it should happen, but it’s not uncommon. The divorce rate is over 50% in the United States and the chances of a successful marriage drop substantially with each re-marriage. The carnage left in the wake of a marriage ending may seem insurmountable. It ranges from sorrow and depression, anger, financial landslide and children left hurt and confused by the break-up of their family. That’s just the short list.
With all the emotions and changes that happen in such a short amount of time, it’s impossible to make all the right choices 100% of the time. Sometimes emotion and hurt feelings cloud the judgment of one or both of the parties involved. It can be a slippery slope. Especially if there are children involved. When it really comes down to it, Children end up suffering the most in a divorce. Children have their worlds shaken to the core. They had two parents in the home and now they only have one. Maybe dad moves out of state, maybe mom remarries. Everything that was constant and true in their world has been turned upside down.
In a perfect world, marriages with children would end amicably. Both parties would agree to reasonable terms without fighting, financial arrangements, shared custody, etc. But this isn’t a perfect world. What happens when those hurt feelings completely cloud the judgment of the custodial parent?
Ultimately, it could lead to the custodial parent using the court system as a means of revenge. Constant litigation, parent alienation, allegations…even losing the right to speak to or see your own children. This can happen anywhere, to anyone. Mom’s and dad’s that are denied access to their children because of loop holes in the law, false allegations and a system that clearly favors mothers. But this isn’t just about Father’s Rights or a mother’s rights. It’s about a child’s right to have access to good, willing and fit parents.
This is one Dad’s story. (He is staying anonymous because of the constant litigation.) But this is not an unfamiliar story. Every day children are litigated away from good parents. It’s not only a fact, but the title of his Facebook page. This Dad said “enough is enough” after losing the right to speak to his daughter’s unsupervised. “My children are suffering at the hands of a broken system in desperate need of repair.” The anonymous father that uses AlwaysTheirDad as his online moniker said. “I refuse to sit back while my rights as a father are simply litigated away from me and my children.” Now he is on a mission to help local parents and parents all across the country. He wants to give them a voice and a community to come together and share their woes and victories. But his mission is dual purposed; he also wants to spread the word about his own case in the hopes that he can be reunited with his daughters soon. “At a time when I am not allowed to even wish my teenage daughter a happy birthday, I just want to be able to tell them how much I love them.”
If you want to become part of the community or find out more about this Dad’s mission and how you can help spread the word, please visit his blog and Facebook page. If you want local resources please visit the NCFC Greater Pittsburgh Chapter.